Defect, anomali...and perspective

18 Maret 2011

On 06.11 by anya-(aydwprdnya) in , ,    No comments



First: I am studying about human behavior (just for this month I hope),
Second: it is Friday evening,
Third: I am totally freak!!



Two days ago, one of my lecturers talked about mood, affection, expression of mood, and mood fluctuation in normal person. She said something about kinda of student typical which is drowning in really bad mood during weekdays and start to cheers their mind up at the night just before holiday. Do you know? She was damn right, dude!

It happening to me. I started this freak chain this noon by left pleno time. No regret, I had a dateline to catch and thanks God, I made it. Then the Friday-foria rally started. I ate a lot, played games, talked so much and suddenly I found my self sitting in front of computer just like an autism. I've forgotten everything bad happened during week, I forgot some tasks I need to finish. And I even forgot my self, another freak thing.

I trapped in this human freaky behavior since two weeks ago. At first I thought, "come on, it just behavior, just about ur self." In fact, I didn't need time to change my mind. "Please God, please reveal a little of your secret about these things, about human being's mind, about human being's feeling."Two weeks after my first day, still I wish I could read Tarot (do not know why.)

This last two weeks, I learned a lot about human being, about psychology, in the other words, I learned about my self. But for God shake, believe me, you won't really like it. Knowing about yourself sometimes in really embarrassing. That is a simple explanation for why are you feel comfort by deceive yourself. In psychology term it called self defense mechanism, in my term, I say it as the way to protect your heart. More, this mechanism could explain well, why are we often blame the others, why are we repress our feeling, why are we need logic reason...and some many others why.....

Since last two weeks, I'm trying to be honest to my self. Some memories flashed in my mind, sometime I think that some people around me are difficult. Totally wrong.
Because we are all difficult, not to show to others, but for our self.
*            *            *
Some melancholies sentences in this phase of Friday-foria. I'm in happy mood of course. A bunch of plans for tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Friday always be Friday, exacerbation of happiness, it will never last even the behavior block will pass.
Gotta go, some friends waiting on Skype.

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